Why Just One Day For Love?

by - 7:23 PM

It's Valentine's Day and husbands, fiancés, boyfriends all over the country and running around trying to get together the last minute flowers, chocolates, and jewelry that they forget to get prior. The total spending for the holiday is expected to top $18.2 billion, according to the National Retail Federation. That's an average of $136.57 per person according (ABC News). That may be the case for most but that isn't what happens in our home. Today was just like any other Tuesday...
There is a reason why we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. Not only do I think the idea of love being commercialized is ridiculous, but you shouldn't have to celebrate "love" one day a year. Instead of going out to a fancy dinner, my husband grilled us chipotle cheddar sausage dogs. We had chips and pineapple jalapeno pickles (probably the best pickle I have ever eaten). We drank water and ate on paper plates. There was absolutely no make-up, my hair was greasy and probably smelled like sweat since I didn't wash it after hot yoga earlier. It doesn't get anymore simple than that.

But that is only because I am loved every day of the year. Knowing that people buy flowers just one day a year seems odd to me. It doesn't take much to tell someone that you love them. For my husband, I am blessed to get flowers pretty frequently. Sometimes he will surprise me with roses or lilies, but most times, it's the cheap colorful carnation bouquet that lasts far longer than the expensive roses. Even better than that are the days when he surprises me with something even more simple, like a Starbucks Frappuccino, a croissant, and a single flower. When we are out shopping and I hadn't had flowers in a while, he will ask me if I want to get some when we pass by.  And then there are times when I really haven't had flowers in a while and I make a comment about "man, I would love to get some flowers..." and then he can't get them for me for a couple more days because I already ruined it but saying something about not getting flowers.

Just a handful of the flowers I have received...
Okay, you get a lot of flowers. Does that really mean he loves you? You're right, it doesn't. But it is just one of the many gestures that proves his love for me. And I know there are some people that don't like flowers. That's fine and dandy if that's the case. But does your significant other show you that he loves you every day of the year or do you only get spoiled on holidays? We both had the same expectations when it came to holidays and celebrations. We made it clear towards the beginning of our relationship. Both of us coming from families that the word family is far from what comes to mind, we spend time together and going on adventures instead of spending money on each other. We don't do gifts for Christmas. Birthday's come and go like a normal day. Occasionally we will do something like go to a paint class or go out to a nice dinner, but for the most part, the money we would spend on those holiday's are spent throughout the year.
While scrolling on Facebook earlier at the "On This Day", I saw our memories from Valentine's Day last year. We drove down to New Mexico because it fell on the long weekend and went to visit 5 different national parks. We packed our lunches and hiked around ancient ruins and climbing up wooden ladders to see original petroglyphs up close. It was so much fun! During the rest of the year, we will do things together and decide on it being for our anniversary or our birthdays. Yes, I basically said there are some times on our anniversary that we don't do anything at all. Last year, we went to the Newsies on Broadway. This year, we are spending it watching Backstreet Boys (Yes, you can squeal when you read that too!) 2 years ago, we stayed home and cooked dinner together because we had just gotten back from another trip to a bunch of parks.

Okay, okay. What if you don't have the money to do the trips that you do? That's easy! You spend your time doing just what we are doing at this very moment. I am typing up this blog while my husband sits beside me rubbing my leg. Not a massage rub, but a soft and gentle rub that relaxes you down to the core. Almost every day he spends at least half an hour (sometimes HOURS) rubbing my back and rubbing my legs or side. We will watch our favorite shows on tv or Netflix (don't get me started on how we are currently binge watching Shameless in between Grey's Anatomy, Vikings, and Walking Dead). He goes to eat dinner outside of the house when I am sick because the smell will make me vomit. I bring him pain relief cream to rub on his back when his day is long.

We cuddle and drink hot tea together. We work on puzzles or go for walks in the evenings. He will even paint my toes and fingers without me asking. Yes, I know that I have gushed about him for the entire post but and haven't said how I have shown him my love, but I do just as much for him from grilling his lunches for the week for work, bringing him lunch to work to eat with him, or watching shows for him even if I have zero interest in it. Just like on our anniversary, since we will be seeing Backstreet Boys, I have already planned on going to the Shelby Mustang museum even though it's not full of 57' Chevy's (that's my car of choice).

In every relationship, there has to be a level of love which includes romance, being silly, and friendship. I am lucky that not only have I fallen in love with an amazing man who treats me like his queen. But he also treats me like his best friend. He doesn't go out and drink at bars. He doesn't leave me on the weekends to hang with friends. If someone invites him out, he asks if wives are coming. If not, we do something else. Not because I don't want him to but because he cares about me and we love spending time together. When I am invited to something or want to go somewhere, I always ask his opinion on it. There are many times he will do something even though he has little interest in it, but it's a give and take. I don't know whether it is because we have been through so much together (cancer, lost jobs, stress *LOTS of stress at times*, and moving among many other things) or if it is just because we really do love each other without needing anything in return. But when you can be lovers and best friends at the same time, you don't have to care about getting flowers and chocolate on Valentine's Day. I would have been completely happy if we sat together tonight at dinner eating peanut butter and jelly. I know people who have told me that they have to go out to dinner once a week because they never see each other. Or they have to buy brand new shoes worth tons of money instead of putting it towards something they both want. It's not about the things.
Next time a holiday approaches, think about whether you truly need this or if there are other ways to show ones love and affection. Long story short, be happy with the ones who love you. Those flowers will die and the gifts will depreciate in value, but you can never put a price on love...

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